Saturday 1 January 2011

Films in 2011 I am not going to support unless I have to, and neiter should you!

This list of stuff I want to see this year is actually pretty large, but as you know, for any good thing there is also a bad. Here is the disaters just waiting to be happening, which you should not support. unless they are actually good in case I should just shut up and go away.

February th 11; Gnomio and Juliet

Yeah... this is really happening, an animated feature about two gardening gnomes in a Romeo and Juliet plot.. and of cause it's in 3-D... and it looks stupid. I am sure anyone who watches the trailer can tell why they should not watch this movie!

February th 18; Big Mommas like father like son.

Jesus, this started all the way back in 2002, with a movie about a black dude going undercover and then dressing up as a huge black momma "tootsie style." and that movie was really not that good... at all. and then for reasons I honestly don't know it had a sequel! so, this is going to be the third supplemental where.. shock oh shock, Father and son is going to go undercover as big mommas together.
Don't support this shit, I beg of you. watch it for seeing how bad it is, but don't support it.

June th 3; X-men first class.

I love comic book universes, I love comic book heroes.
But this is a disaster waiting to happen. X-men needs to rest for a while now, and if you bring it back, it should be in a looong while, and as a total re-boot from scratch.

July th 1; Transformers, Dark of the moon.

If you don't know why you should not support this movie... get out.

Augusts th 3; The Smurfs

..... Everything about this movie is wrong.. just wrong.
And if you really had to make it.. New york? modern day new york? wha.. why? Smurfs are magically creatures in magical middle age like kingdom, their arch nemesis is a dark wizard.. and in any case.
Making a movie about this is dump!

August th 19; Conan the Barbarian.

Why did you need to make this re-boot to being with? why???? WHY?

August th 19; Spy kids 4, all the time in the world.

another one? really? the third one was bad enough, and it was bloody six years ago it came out! SIX! the last one, plus it actually had sort of closure.. erh. I didn't say that.

September th 16; Johnny English Reborn

yeas people.. this is really happening.. the sequel to the 2003 movie "Johnny English." yeas, that movie is now eight years old.
WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING TO YOURSELF ROWAN ATKINSON!?

sigh.. gasp.. okay i'm good. but seriously? why? in my opinion he is genuinely one of the best most skilled living comedians at all, one of the funniest performers who ever lived.. so dear god why is this happening to me? I want to support Atkinson but I don't want that to happen, it just makes me sad.

November th 4; Puss in Boots

I like Puss in Boots, love his character. my favourite Shrek character.
Why do they keep doing this to me? no... I didn't mean it, he should not be destroyed in his own movie, have mercy! let him life! I love that little cat..
And this is so going to blow.

November th 18; The twilight saga breaking Dawn

.. I don't believe I need to explain myself

November th 23; Muppets.

I believe I need to explain myself,

This is not something I have addressed on this blog before, but I am a huge muppets fan! I love the original show, I love old Sesame street, and dammit I love most of the movies, I even own every single one of the movies! which is why I can honestly say.. how good the muppets are is decreasing.. a lot.
The last movie which came out was. "Muppets wizard of Oz." and it sucks... a lot. it is terrible completely lacking the charm which makes muppets so good.. trying to be so hip with itself and there fore misses the spot by a mile. Muppets were never hip to begin with! stop that shit! oh boy, this is going to hurt isn't it?

December th 16; Mission Impossible; Ghost Protocol.

I am also a fan of classic Mission impossible.. the old television series.. I never liked the new mission impossible movies, they had nothing to do with the show, other than taking the awesome theme tune, which is also the best thing about the movies. The show is an ensemble show all about being undercover and tricking the enemy with elaborate plans and team work (Like toy story 3)
The movies, are wannabe James bond.. it's horrible to witness.

And that was that... and I am probably going to somehow support half of these movies anyway.. dammit..

4 comments:

  1. Some of these franchises are long dead, now hollywood are just digging up graves. Pretty sure X-Men and Shrek are zombies at this point.

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  2. Did Johnny English even make any money? Or enough to warrant a sequel, pfft.

    I'm not surprised we;re going to see the Smurfs in a city enviroment. Garfield, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and now this. None of our childhood cartoon icons are safe.

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  3. I have no idea by Johnny English, well apparently it did or he wouldn't get a sequel now, though I do think it's worth noticing how old that films is.

    Smurfs.. it's just wrong. I even remember the comic books, and I had a computer game with them I sort of like, and all these figures you could sort of collects. sigh, why.. just why.

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